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Reflections of You

Friday had a few head-desk moments for me. You know those moments. You read, watch, or listen to something that makes you just want to hit your head on a desk because you cannot believe anyone would be so – well, so whatever sets you off. It did help me to realize something important, though, in a way that I had not considered before. Because as it went on, I was thinking to myself – self, it would be great if I could contact this person’s D-type to let him/her know how – well. I would say that she was confused, but that does not cut it. We are talking about a level of miscommunication and stubborn refusal to receive information that is, quite frankly, disturbing to see in anyone. The moment … Read entire article »

Filed under: BDSM, Blogging, Community, Submission, Submissive

Power in D/s

Who has power in a Dominance/submission relationship? This is a discussion that I’ve been getting myself involved in a lot lately, and I’ve had a chance to really examine things I learned about this a long time ago. I think it is important to be able to state the reason for your beliefs beyond just “it is what I was taught.” If you cannot give reasoning beyond that, then you have knowledge, but no wisdom. So here are my thoughts on this. Take it for what you will, but it does play an important part in my overall philosophy of BDSM. So, in a Dominance and submission dynamic,

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Filed under: BDSM, D/s, Dominance, Submission

Why Limits and Safety Matter to Me

In a forum I am on, someone posted up a very important reminder. While the idea of public displays – leading your submissive on a leash, public nudity, public humiliation, etc – can be a powerful fantasy, the reality can bring with it consequences. When these things are done in a place that is not open/welcoming to BDSM, this can lead to arrests. Arrests can lead to all sorts of problems in the future. When it comes to things like public nudity or public displays, this can include sex-offender registries. You may think to yourself “I don’t care about that.” You will if in the future you find yourself in a divorce with children an custody is in question. Or if you are moving into a new home, that you … Read entire article »

Filed under: BDSM, Blogging, Dominance, Submission

Why Submission Is Not About Nature

One topic that has been coming up in groups for a while is the idea of the “natural submissive.” You know these submissives well. They appear in groups, some of them being long-time lifestylers, some of them being very new and inexperienced. All of them say the same things: My submission is a natural thing. I have always been this way. Being submissive is who I am.

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Filed under: BDSM, Community, D/s, Submission, Submissive

Discipline – It’s What You Do

So, I talked a little bit before about Discipline and how I would handle, in one respect at least, punishments. I wanted to return to this topic because it is an important aspect of BDSM – it’s even part of the acronym. I certainly did not want to go very long without sharing some of my thoughts on Discipline, since my last discussion had focused on punishment so much. In BDSM, what is Discipline? Simply put, it is training. When we talk about training a submissive or training a slave, we are talking about Discipline. It encompasses all the rules that you set in place, the different protocols of your dynamic, and then what you use, positive and negative, to reinforce those protocols. When I have a submissive, I plan to have a very … Read entire article »

Filed under: BDSM, Discipline, Dominance, Submission