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Reflections of You

Friday had a few head-desk moments for me. You know those moments. You read, watch, or listen to something that makes you just want to hit your head on a desk because you cannot believe anyone would be so – well, so whatever sets you off. It did help me to realize something important, though, in a way that I had not considered before. Because as it went on, I was thinking to myself – self, it would be great if I could contact this person’s D-type to let him/her know how – well. I would say that she was confused, but that does not cut it. We are talking about a level of miscommunication and stubborn refusal to receive information that is, quite frankly, disturbing to see in anyone. The moment … Read entire article »

Filed under: BDSM, Blogging, Community, Submission, Submissive

Red Flags

Not much to write about today. I’ve been busy with writing this week so much so that, honestly, I just kind of let my brain leak out today. I did find this, courtesy of a comment on a thread in a group on Facebook. There is probably a rule about the number of prepositions I just used in that sentence … Anyway, I am sharing it here. Red flags to watch out for. It is very good. I’m of the opinion if you find something really good, share it. It is how I learn. It’s how others will learn too.

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Filed under: BDSM, Community

Why Yes Under the Influence Is Not Yes

Alcohol impairs your ability to make decisions. When you are drinking, you become susceptible to suggestions. You are more likely to do things that you would not do sober. So going up to a stranger in a bar, whom you have never met and whom you know is intoxicated – or suspect is – and asking this person to have sex with you, go home with you, etc is bad. You do not know if this person would say yes sober. Predators purposefully target these people because they will be susceptible to seduction or just going along due to their inebriated state. Predators use alcohol and sometimes other substances to get around the need to obtain consent. Consent is important, period. Whatever the activity, BDSM, Vanilla sex, a little bit of heavy … Read entire article »

Filed under: Community

How to Make a First Impression

Because I am beginning my search for a submissive, I am on a few sites to help facilitate meeting people of the BDSM persuasion. Yes, they are dating sites of a sort. Hush. I know that at least a few lifestylers hang out on the site. I’ve gotten to speak to one or two. I have had enough “Be my mistress” and “Can I be your slave” introduction emails, however, to make me wonder at the veracity of that statement. I don’t mean people who introduce themselves to me as “Hi, my name is ____. I’m into BDSM and a submissive/slave. I know that you are looking for a submissive, and I would like to get to know you so that perhaps we would consider each other for a dynamic.” or some other similarly … Read entire article »

Filed under: BDSM, Blogging, Community

Respect in BDSM Erotica

If you head over to StreetWraith Press After Dark (I linked around the 18+ warning because if you are going there from here, you should already be 18+ … you’re welcome) you will see a review with a similar title as this article. My first review of another author’s erotica. I hope that you find it enjoyable and that it stimulates your mind enough to want to buy the story. It’s a good one. Emily Ryan-Davis came highly recommended to me, and I recommend her as well. What gripped me about Claiming Lauren and has me reading the rest of the eXclave series is the respect she pays to the Lifestyle and, most importantly, the safety and protocols that are so important in it. I wanted to expand on that idea … Read entire article »

Filed under: BDSM, Blogging, Community, Erotica, Featured, The Erotic Author, Writng