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The Difference Between Fantasy and Fiction

I love writing erotic fiction. I sometimes enjoy reading it. Sometimes. I do not like erotic fiction that blurs lines of consent or is disrespectful – to women, to men, to the community it is writing about, etc. Sometimes when I voice this, people will say “but it is only fantasy.” And this is wrong. There is a difference between fantasy and fiction, and I am going to explain that. I think it is something that many erotica authors either miss or ignore, and our genre and its sub-genres hurt for it. Erotica can be erotic and it can still be respectful. It can sexualize respect and consent and be an incredibly erotic story. You just have to understand what a fantasy is, what drives that fantasy, and how to turn it into erotica.

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Filed under: BDSM, Erotica, The Erotic Author, Writng

Reflections of You

Friday had a few head-desk moments for me. You know those moments. You read, watch, or listen to something that makes you just want to hit your head on a desk because you cannot believe anyone would be so – well, so whatever sets you off. It did help me to realize something important, though, in a way that I had not considered before. Because as it went on, I was thinking to myself – self, it would be great if I could contact this person’s D-type to let him/her know how – well. I would say that she was confused, but that does not cut it. We are talking about a level of miscommunication and stubborn refusal to receive information that is, quite frankly, disturbing to see in anyone. The moment … Read entire article »

Filed under: BDSM, Blogging, Community, Submission, Submissive

Philosophy of BDSM

I think everyone has their own philosophy about what BDSM is – beyond the make up of the acronym and the what/how-tos of those things. I know I have touched on my own philosophy in discreet ways, related to my thoughts on Dominance and submission, things like that. I thought it might be a good time to give a more holistic philosophy, though, on what BDSM is, in my world view anyway. Why Philosophy Matters It is fine to dabble in things, to have a brushing interest or want to pick out things to help flavor and spice the rest of your life. We do that with all sorts of things. When we have those passing interests and light fancies, however, we rarely take the time to think on what is happening … Read entire article »

Filed under: BDSM, Blogging

Red Flags

Not much to write about today. I’ve been busy with writing this week so much so that, honestly, I just kind of let my brain leak out today. I did find this, courtesy of a comment on a thread in a group on Facebook. There is probably a rule about the number of prepositions I just used in that sentence … Anyway, I am sharing it here. Red flags to watch out for. It is very good. I’m of the opinion if you find something really good, share it. It is how I learn. It’s how others will learn too.

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Filed under: BDSM, Community

Power in D/s

Who has power in a Dominance/submission relationship? This is a discussion that I’ve been getting myself involved in a lot lately, and I’ve had a chance to really examine things I learned about this a long time ago. I think it is important to be able to state the reason for your beliefs beyond just “it is what I was taught.” If you cannot give reasoning beyond that, then you have knowledge, but no wisdom. So here are my thoughts on this. Take it for what you will, but it does play an important part in my overall philosophy of BDSM. So, in a Dominance and submission dynamic,

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Filed under: BDSM, D/s, Dominance, Submission